ALEXIS, AVA, AND KRISTINA FORMED AN ACCIDENTAL KIDNAPPING TRIO AND IT’S THE MOST UNHINGED THING GH HAS DONE IN YEARS
TL;DR: Port Charles just witnessed the birth of the world’s most dysfunctional crime family, and it’s not the Corinthos clan this time. Alexis Davis, Ava Jerome, and Kristina Corinthos-Davis kidnapped, drugged, and held Ric Lansing hostage in a wine cellar like some deranged book club gone wrong. Now Cody and Molly have stumbled onto this hot mess, and someone’s about to make the worst decision of their life.
When Your Ex-Husband Needs to Be Tied Up in a Cellar (Not in the Fun Way)
Let’s set the scene: Ric Lansing wakes up tied to a chair in Alexis‘s wine cellar like he’s auditioning for a low-budget thriller. When Cody Bell finally finds him, Ric‘s first instinct is to assure everyone this ISN’T some kinky roleplay situation. Which, honestly? Fair assumption given Port Charles’s track record.
But no, this is an actual kidnapping. Alexis Davis—renowned attorney, former mob queen, woman who literally went to prison herself—has officially crossed over to the dark side. Again. And she brought backup: Ava Jerome(professional chaos agent) and Kristina (her daughter who maybe, possibly, definitely tried to murder Ava recently but we’re not dwelling on that).
What could make three women with a collective IQ of approximately 400 decide kidnapping was their BEST option? Well, Ric was blackmailing Alexis and extorting Ava. He forced Alexis to steal money from baby Ace‘s trust fund. So naturally, the logical solution was: tie him up, drug him, and keep him hostage until they could fix the financial mess. Because when has kidnapping NOT solved everything?
The Accidental Crime Family Nobody Asked For
Here’s what absolutely SENDS me about this situation: these three women are the WORST possible criminal conspirators in Port Charles history. And that’s saying something in a town where people regularly fake their own deaths.
Alexis is a lawyer who keeps getting disbarred for catastrophically bad decisions. Her legal advice to herself should be “don’t do crimes.” Ava‘s a professional at getting away with murder (literally), but even SHE looks stressed about this kidnapping. And Kristina? The girl who tried to kill Ava by running her off the road? Yeah, let’s put HER in charge of guarding a hostage. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
The fact that they thought they could pull this off for “just one more hour” to fix the money situation is PEAK soap opera logic. Bestie, you KIDNAPPED A LAWYER. A VENGEFUL, PETTY LAWYER. Even if you fix the money, you’re still going to PRISON for KIDNAPPING.
But wait, it gets better! When Cody discovers this felony in progress, their solution is to OFFER HIM MONEY to keep quiet. And then Ric COUNTER-OFFERS with MORE money! It’s like a very dramatic, very illegal auction where the prize is “which side of this felony do you want to be on?”
Cody Bell: Worst Person to Discover Your Kidnapping Scheme
Can we talk about how cosmically UNFAIR it is that Cody Bell of all people found Ric? Cody—the guy dating Molly, Ric‘s daughter—just wanted to find his dog Outback. Instead he stumbles into a three-woman crime ring operating out of a wine cellar.
Cody literally said “you’re all nuts” and tried to grab his dog and LEAVE. Which, honestly? Correct response.
But then Molly shows up! Perfect, law-abiding prosecutor Molly arrives just in time to discover her mom, her sister, and Ava Jerome have been running a hostage situation in the basement. Molly‘s about to have the worst family dinner conversation of her LIFE.
Wild Speculation: How Does This Dumpster Fire End?
Now that Cody and Molly both know, where does this MESS go? Let’s explore some delightfully unhinged possibilities:
Molly has to choose between family and the law. She’s a prosecutor whose entire career is built on upholding justice. But these are her MOTHER and SISTER who committed this felony. Does she report them? Cover for them? Have a complete breakdown in Alexis‘s kitchen?
Ric presses charges and everyone goes to prison. The nuclear option! Alexis loses her law license AGAIN (at this point it’s a hobby). Ava goes back to prison where she’s honestly most comfortable. Kristina finally faces consequences for ALL her recent choices.
Cody takes the money and runs. What if Cody actually accepts a bribe? He’s broke, tired, and dating into the most dramatic family in Port Charles. Maybe he takes the cash, grabs Outback, and moves somewhere people DON’T kidnap their exes.
Alexis doubles down and kidnaps someone else. This is the UNHINGED option: what if Alexis decides kidnapping actually WORKS as a problem-solving strategy? Someone bothering you at work? Kidnap them. Parking space stolen? Believe it or not, kidnapping. She becomes Port Charles’s newest crime boss.
Why This Is the Best Worst Storyline GH Has Done in Ages
Is this kidnapping plot completely unhinged? Absolutely. Does it make ANY logical sense? Not even a little bit. But is it ENTERTAINING AS HELL? You bet your wine cellar hostage situation it is!
This is the kind of delightfully bonkers storytelling that makes soaps FUN. We’ve got lawyers committing crimes, family members choosing sides, moral dilemmas everywhere, and a dog who inadvertently solved the whole mystery. It’s perfect chaos.
Alexis, Ava, and Kristina are about to learn that kidnapping has CONSEQUENCES. Cody and Molly are about to learn that dating into this family means occasionally stumbling onto active crime scenes. And Ric? He’s probably already planning revenge.
Port Charles just got a whole lot more interesting. And by “interesting” I mean “legally actionable.” Pass the popcorn because these ladies are going to need the BEST lawyer in town. Oh wait, they kidnapped one of those. Whoops.
The Receipts Are Waiting: Got PROOF your theory is right? Timelines, screenshots, connections we totally missed? Send your evidence to [email protected] and let’s blow this case WIDE OPEN together!
